


Come with me or don’t, either way I’m going

by IAmAwesomeMe



Category: Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: F/M, its a lot of relationship building, set after s3 e2, they go on a trip
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 23:42:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20882615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmAwesomeMe/pseuds/IAmAwesomeMe
Summary: Anne needs answers, so she leaves Green Gables and goes to look for them. On the way, she meets Gilbert, who figures out her plan and tells her to go home. She gives him an ultimatum: to either come with her or leave her on her own, but either way she's going to find her answers.





	Come with me or don’t, either way I’m going

A week of school had gone by since Marilla had banned Anne from going to Nova Scotia. So far there was absolutely nothing different in what Anne was allowed to do. She still went to school, admittedly with an escort from Jerry. The weekend would be the real test, since this meant she wasn’t allowed to visit Diana or go off on her own. She was supposed to make scones and stay indoors. She wasn’t even allowed to go to the hockey game on Sunday.

But that was nothing compared to the change between Anne and Marilla. Their relationship had at one point been described as motherly and caring, but now was filled with ice. Marilla didn’t speak with Anne except to give her orders, and Anne didn’t speak with Marilla all, only nodding and doing as she was told. It wasn’t a good thing that Matthew had said the most things at their family dinners.

Anne could feel herself shutting down, blocking out everything, feeling nothing. That was the way she survived at the asylum, and at whatever home she was put into. She shut down, not let anything get to her, not let anyone see her pain because she knew if they did they would revel in it. She cried herself to sleep at night, as silently as she could. She was fairly well practiced at crying silently. If the other girls heard her tears, they wouldn’t leave her alone, so she if she wanted to cry at night, it had to be quiet enough to not attract attention.

She thought that when she came her she would never have to cry quietly again, never have to shut down again. Never have to treat her life as a story because that’s the only way she could cope with it. Never again be looking at herself as though she were a ghost, hovering just above her own body because being in it was simply too painful. She liked that was of describing it. She did feel like a ghost.

Now it was Saturday, and it was a week since she first fell out of her body. She hasn’t felt like herself since then, and wanted to. She wanted to find out who her parents were, find out if they loved her, find her past, her history, her family. She wanted to feel again. Or, more actually, she didn’t want to feel like this again. She didn’t want to go on living like this. She couldn’t.

The 50 pence piece weighted her down in her pocket. She had gotten in the habit of carrying it around, so that she was ready to, hypothetically, leave whenever she wanted to. Not that she had, but still it was nice to have the means to leave if a way out presented itself.

Like now. She took stock. Matthew was out in the field with Jerry, wouldn’t be in till lunch time. Marilla was at Rachel’s, thinking it best to leave Anne alone in the house till her mood improved, though it wasn’t her mood that needed improving it was their relationship. She was alone in the house, and would be for some time. She looked at the clock. The train to Charlottetown wouldn’t leave for another hour. Technically, she could make it if she walked quickly. But she had to leave now it that was going to be the plan.

Yes, yes it would be. She took off her apron and went upstairs to put it away. While she was there, her eyes went over to her notepad. She should leave a note for Matthew at least, telling him where she’s gone off to. She quickly wrote one out, then went back downstairs. As soon as she put her coat and boots on, she was out of the door, leaving Green Gables. Possibly for the last time.

No, this wouldn’t be the last time, she thought. I’m coming back, I just need answers first.

But what would be so bad if you never returned? One side of her asked the question, and the rest looked for an answer, but no one found one.

* * *

“Anne?” Gilbert hadn’t expected to see her on the train into Charlottetown today.

Anne swallowed hard. “Gilbert,” she replied. “Marilla told me to find a seat next to you.” When in doubt, lie.

“She did?” Gilbert was confused but moved his coat from the seat in front of him. “Why are you here?”

“You didn’t get my note?” Anne asked, making her eyes wide to make her seem as innocent as possible.

“What note?”

“The note saying that I was going to come to Charlottetown with you again,” Anne explained, taking a seat. “I need to do more investigations in Nova Scotia, so I have to come back with you this week. I wrote you a note explaining it all, it must have fallen out and into the dirt. Oh well, I’m here now.”

“Marilla didn’t want to talk to me?” Gilbert asked.

“No,” Anne scrambled to find a good enough explanation, while also trying to look like she wasn’t scrambling. “She already spoke with you the time before, so you already know everything. She didn’t think it’s need.”

“She didn’t?”

“She trusts you.”

“She does?” This was very strange for Gilbert. She had never known Marilla to take it easy and not talk to Gilbert a second time. And Anne was acting weird. Fidgety. Well, she was normally fidgety, but now it wasn’t the absentminded fidgeting of a mind a thousand miles away. Now it was active fidgeting, of a mind that actively doesn’t want to think about something. Or is lying about something. No, Anne is honest. She wouldn’t lie. But so many parts of her story didn’t line up, he couldn’t say it was impossible.

He tired to continue his interrogation. “So Marilla-“

“Aren’t the colours outside lovely?” Anne asked, quickly changing the subject.

“Yes,” Gilbert agreed. “But Marilla-”

“I always love the winter the most,” Anne said. “It’s the most different from all other seasons, so it’s most easy to imagine you as no longer a part of your world, your life, and easy to imagine yourself a fairy or a snow queen or some other mystical, far off creature.”

Gilbert stopped. Clearly she didn’t want to talk about Marilla and he reckoned that if he pushed it she would not appreciate it. He set the matter aside for now, focusing on the odd remark Anne made. “Fairies?” he asked. “I thought you were past the time of made up stories.”

It’s true, she hadn’t really written a story since the club house was destroyed, choosing instead to write non-fiction and starting a school newspaper with Miss Stacey and Gilbert. But something was changing within her, reverting her back to her childhood self. “I thought so too,” she confessed, quietly. “Maybe I’m still more a child than I like to think.” She looked down, her eyesight started to get clouded by the water that would become tears but hadn’t fallen yet.

“Anne,” Gilbert leaned in, sitting on the edge of his seat. “Anne, are you ok?”

She looked at him, forcing the water back into her eyes. “I’m fine,” she said.

“Really? You looked like you were about to-”

“But I didn’t. That’s the main part, the part that counts. I didn’t and I won’t so I’m fine,” Anne insisted. “Really, I am.”

Gilbert doubted that she was, and also knew that “not crying” is not a very good standard by which to measure if you are alright. But he knew that he shouldn’t push the issue, so he didn’t. He settled back into his seat, and she looked out the window, ignoring him. He took out his book, but couldn’t concentrate on it, instead looking up every sentence or so to make sure Anne is still alright. She wasn’t. She kept staring out the window, almost in tears, but refusing to cry. It was impressive, Gilbert thought. To be keeping it together so well even though she was so close to braking open. He started to realize that, when she tried to be, Anne was the strongest person he knew.

They got off the train together. Gilbert stated walking with Anne over to Josephine Barry’s house, but she stopped him.

“Shouldn’t you be getting to your apprenticeship?” Anne asked.

“No, I’m supposed to walk you over. And besides, I want to say hello to Cole, I didn’t get to last time.”

“No, I can walk over myself,” she said, moving past him and trying to go off alone.

“I would really feel more comfortable if I walked with you,” Gilbert said, trying to catch up.

“There’s really no need,” Anne said.

“But Marilla wouldn’t forgive me if I didn’t,” Gilbert reminded her.

“Then don’t tell her,” Anne countered. “What Marilla doesn’t know won’t hurt her.”

“Wait hold up,” he said, grabbing her arm, stopping her from walking away. She turned around and looked her in the eye. “Do you really believe that?”

“It’s true, isn’t it?” Anne looked Gilbert in the eye.

Gilbert felt something within Anne’s eyes, a sort of defiance. It was clear that she did not have Marilla’s permission to make this trip. Slowly, he let go of her arm. She straightened her jacket and walked away. But before she went too far away, something held her back. Please come back, Gilbert prayed. Please say what you’ve done, please ask me to bring you home, please. Just come clean and I will help you, I will help you with whatever you need.

She turned around. “Gilbert? Remember last week? When you boarded the train and waited for me on it?”

“Yeah,” Gilbert had no idea where she was going with this.

“Do that again this week,” she said. “Don’t wait for me on the train platform.” Then she turned and walked away.

Clearly, she was not going to come home on the train that evening. Gilbert looked to where she was drifting into the crowd. He looked to his left. That was the street that lead to the doctor’s office was. Then he looked straight ahead again. There was Anne, going to make some big mistake. He didn’t know what it was going to be, just that she wasn’t going to listen to him when he said no and if he did nothing she was going to do it alone. He would like to say he thought about it more, that he looked back in the direction of the office one more time before making his decision. Truth was, there wasn’t any real question what he was going to do. He followed her without a second thought.

* * *

He tried to keep his distance so that she wouldn’t be tipped off that she was being followed. He figured out they were heading in the direction of the ferries, probably heading to Nova Scotia. And he had a newspaper to shield his face if she ever looked back. She didn’t, keeping her eyes straight ahead. Focused. Determined.

Gilbert had often seen Anne determined. Determined to beat him at spelling, determined to beat him on the math tests, even at one point determined to beat him at the Sunday picnic egg race (Gilbert quickly reflected on how much of their relationship was built on competition, and how little they ever worked together on) but he had never seen her like this. Normally, when she looked determined it meant that she was ready to go toe-to-toe with whoever she happened to be going up against. But now? She looked just about ready to fight everything and anyone in her path. She looked like she could go up against the entire province of Nova Scotia and still come out with little more than a scratch on her cheek. She looked like if the ferry was cancelled it wouldn’t be a problem because she could part the water way like the red sea through sheer determination and walk to Nova Scotia. Gilbert admired it, but was also pretty scared for Anne. He had no idea what was causing this, but it was clear Anne was in pain, why else would she act so, and Gilbert didn’t like to see her in pain. He didn’t like seeing her like this.

He kept his distance, and sure enough they ended up at the ferry. He saw her get in line to buy a ticket and figured this was a good time to make himself known to her. He slid into line behind her. “Funny, this doesn’t look like Josephine’s house,” he said.

Anne whirled around. “What are you doing here?” she hissed.

“What are you doing here?” Gilbert responded. “If Marilla could see you she’d faint.”

“I am well aware!” she shouted, that determination being touched by anger. Others turned to look at her, and she lowered her voice. “I still asked you first. So you have to answer first.”

“I followed you here because I was worried about you. You weren’t acting like yourself at all, and I was worried you were going to do something rash that you would regret. Clearly I was right.”

“No, you weren’t,” Anne insisted, moving up in the line as others got their tickets. “This may be rash, but I will not regret it. I need to do this, don’t you see. I can’t like there another moment. I have to have answers so I’m getting on a ferry and trying to track down my birth certificate though the church. They have records, the records have answers, and I need those answers.”

“But Anne,” Gilbert tried to object.

“I’m going,” Anne insisted. “And unless you are planning on bringing me back to Avonlea by force, with me kicking and screaming the entire time, then I don’t see any other way you’re going to bring me back.”

“You can’t go alone,” Gilbert tried to remind her.

“Then come with me if you feel so strongly about it,” Anne suggested.

Gilbert was taken aback. “But, I can’t. I have… work.”

“Then good bye,” Anne said, moving up the line again, leaving Gilbert behind her.

Gilbert continued to follow her. “Please, just reconsider.”

“No,” Anne insisted.

“Please?”

“No.”

“For me?”

“No.” Anne was almost at the front of the line. “Listen, Gilbert, it’s very simple. Come with me, don’t come with me, it’s all the same. I’m going either way.” She was now at the front of the line. “So? Am I buying to tickets or one?”

Gilbert considered it for a moment, looking Anne in her eyes and seeing the determination in them. She wasn’t going home, no matter what he said, and she needed someone to have her back.

“Two tickets to Nova Scotia,” he told the ticket master.

**Author's Note:**

> I have a lot planned for this one and I want to get it all out before the next episode.


End file.
